Pastry

Cuban Meat Pies

September 18, 2019

My entire childhood, I grew up eating pastries from this Cuban bakery in Glendale called Porto’s. Whenever there was a party or special occasion or holiday my mom would pick up their potato balls and cuban meat pies to serve as appetizers. I already recreated the potato balls on my site and so I thought it was time to tackle the Cuban Meat Pies. They’re small super flaky savory pastries filled with seasoned ground beef, and they’re my absolute favorite thing on their menu. I’ve teamed up with my friends over at GO BOLD WITH BUTTER to show you how to make an easy rough puff pastry at a home—a much simpler version of the classic dough recipe—that you can make and fill with all sorts of different things. They’re great as an appetizer or snack and can be made ahead of time and kept in the freezer!

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Carrot Cake Scones

March 26, 2015

I’ve been making scones for as long as I can remember. I used to sell homemade baked goods out of my tiny kitchen when I was in college, to help my mom with my tuition. She had already put my two sisters through college, by the time I got around to it, so I wanted to help out any way I could. I’m sure it was illegal and it inconvenienced my family because I’d be in the kitchen for hours and hours, but I did it anyway because I was a rebel like that and I actually enjoyed it most days. It was a nice break from all the homework and studying. Really it was just a way for me to procrastinate the things I had to get done. There were two items that I had to make on a daily basis because people ordered them a lot, scones and pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. I’ve made so many batches of both that I now have the recipes permanently engraved in my brain. It’s helpful. It got to the point where I refused to bake scones because I got tired of making them. At the time I offered the classic flavors, cranberry, blueberry, (and my all time personal favorite) cherry dark chocolate chunk. My family has since then made it a point to relentlessly try and coerce me into baking scones for them or their coworkers, and sometimes I do it. Other times, they’re not as successful. Sorry family.

I’ve taken a break from my scone strike, however, to bring you these Carrot Cake Scones. I think it’s worth breaking my promise to never make scones again, but let’s not get used to it. It’s a phase that will pass. I grate fresh carrots and mix them into my go-to scone recipe, with a few other twists, like a blend of spices, raisins and cream cheese frosting on top with chopped pecans make them taste just like a classic carrot cake. Which happens to be one of my favorite cake flavors. So if you like carrot cake and you like scones, then I don’t think I need to say anything more to try and convince you to make them. They can speak for themselves. “Make me. Make me. Eat me. Eat me.” Can you hear it?

This is our second to last Easter Brunch Bonanza post/recipe and I’m a little sad about it. Sure, I’ve saved the best for last (stay tuned tomorrow to find out), but that doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s almost over. I’ll still bring you awesome and delicious recipes that’ll get you excited though, and these springtime recipes from this week will now forever live online for all of your brunch needs so there’s no need to cry about it. Let’s get these scones started though, shall we? They wont stop calling out our names until we eat them.

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Roasted Asparagus and Prosciutto Croissants

March 23, 2015

I really like croissants. Who doesn’t? I find myself never buying croissants at the grocery store or bakery because I’ll never not just have one. I’ll end up eating about ten while standing over the sink losing all dignity and sense of worth, and later on I’ll feel bad about the entire situation. Never enough to not eat again for the rest of the day or anything like that. Nothing that extreme. I’ve had this idea stuck in my mind though, more like a fantasy, where I make fresh croissants at home and they’re absolutely perfect and I get a standing ovation with a never ending applause from an invisible audience. That idea is quickly abandoned and the feeling of excitement quickly vanishes when I realize that making homemade croissant pastry dough is sort of hassle and quite time consuming. I’m no Martha Stewart and therefore I will not spend all day in the kitchen for anything. Nothing is that worth it. Maybe french fries, but those are quick to make. Although, the sound of spending all day in the kitchen making and eating fried potatoes does sound like the best day in the world.

Since I do have a life that doesn’t revolve around me folding cold butter into dough all day long and letting it rest for various amounts of time during the day, I’ve always cheated my way through “homemade” croissants. Have I talked to you guys about my love for frozen puff pastry yet? It’s the greatest thing ever invented and I use it all the time, especially when I want homemade chocolate croissants super fast without all of the work. Let’s get one thing straight, I am aware that it’s not the same thing as a pastry dough and it doesn’t get as flaky as traditional croissants, but you know I have to tell you, it’s pretty darn close and it gets the job done. Now I’m not trying to deter you from making traditional croissants at home, if you have that time and energy, then go for it! If you’re like me, however, and don’t have the patience, then get yourself over to a grocery store ASAP and pay the frozen food aisle a visit. While you’re there do yourself and everyone around you a favor and buy all the boxes of frozen puff pastry.

They’re great to have on hand for a lot of things really. You can use them to top off pot pies or make fruit filled hand pies or fake out danishes for breakfast or make puff pastry tarts topped with all sorts of delicious ingredients for appetizers. It’s a versatile ingredient and a pantry (freezer) essential. It’s gotten me out of many a last minute cooking/baking situation and I can’t recommend it enough. As I said earlier, the best thing to use puff pastry for is to make faux croissants. My friend Joy taught me to make quick croissants by filling puff pastry with chocolate chunks and rolling them around in cinnamon sugar and baking them off until golden brown and flaky. It’s an irresistible treat warm right out of the oven. This time around I’m filling them with a few spring ingredients like roasted asparagus and prosciutto and shredded gruyere cheese and champagne mustard. They’re part of my big Easter Brunch Bonanza going on right now. It’s the first recipe in our five recipe Easter bash and I think it’s a great way to start.

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Pistachio Eclairs

February 11, 2014

For me, growing up, Valentine’s Day was something special. Not because of all the valentines I would receive from my many admirers—that goes without saying. I was pret-ty popular as a kid. I’m totally kidding. You caught me. I didn’t have any admirers, and what’s more, I’d get just the same amount of cards as any other boring Joe at school. The bare minimum. It was sad and depressing. I don’t want to talk about it. No, it was a special day because of the crafts we’d do at home. The coloring of cards and cutting of construction paper and gluing of pipe cleaners. My hearts were always cut lopsided, unlike my sisters’, but that’s okay. I think we all know which were better (mine). The youngest child can practically make a pile of crap and it would still be considered cute. The best part of the day, however, was when we’d get to decorate cookies, and then eat them, of course. Mamma would make a batch of heart-shaped sugar cookies for us. Then we’d proceed to dump globs of pink, red and white colored icing on them, and make it rain nothing but sprinkles. I’d make it rain sprinkles—in my mouth. It was awesome! Sure there would be a gigantic mess at the end of it all, not even worth the cookies that came out of it, but the memories were totally worth it. Now don’t get me wrong. Mamma, bless her soul, isn’t a baker at all. She didn’t spend hours in the kitchen making said Valentine’s Day cookies. Nope. Instead, she would take a few minutes to open up a package of store-bought dough and plop them on a baking sheet and call it a day. We never complained. I mean after all, a cookie is a cookie.

There are only a few things in life, when it comes to food, that I really enjoy. Okay, who am I kidding? I don’t even believe that myself. There are a lot of food things in life I can’t get enough of, like Valentine’s Day cookies for instance. Also, doughnuts are definitely on the top of that can’t-get-enough list. Come to think of it, I don’t think there is a list out there where doughnuts don’t make an appearance. Freshly popped popcorn doused in a generous amount of questionable white cheddar cheese powder, add that to my “food I really enjoy” list also. Powdered popcorn cheese? Yes, please! 100% yes. I don’t even give it a second thought, yes. Of course there are more reasonable foods I absolutely go nuts for like, french fries, tater tots, hash browns (I promise you it’s not all potatoes, but really it is), potato tacos, and garlic mashed potatoes. I was a potato in my past life, remember? Dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets—you’ll forever have my heart. Croutons on an iceberg salad. Hard boiled eggs in the evening. Whipped ricotta on crusty bread with a drizzle of good olive oil. Pistachios in pretty much ANYTHING (especially ice cream). Yeah, I could go on and on but you catch my drift, I love food. Especially themed food.

I think the best part of any holiday is the themed food, snacks and desserts you can make and eat. What makes Valentine’s Day so special? Is it all the love that is going around? Sure that’s nice, but no that’s not it. Is it the fact that you can spend the day with your loved ones? Uh I don’t think so. That can happen any day of the week, if you think about it. Perhaps it’s all the heart shaped chocolate, brownies, cookies, love-inspired desserts and meals out there? Yeah that’s definitely it. Think about it, what other day of the year is it perfectly acceptable to dive, mouth first, into a heart-shaped box of chocolate and not even feel guilty about it? What other day can you pretend to make something decadent like pistachio eclairs for your “significant other,” when in reality, we all know it’s really just for you? There is no other day. This is the only chance we get. So let’s stop fighting it and do nothing but eat chocolate and candy and pistachio eclairs on this day of love. That’s what February 14th is all about, right? Well that, and chubby naked babies flying around, flinging arrows at people.

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Faux Danish Pastries

August 25, 2013

I want to be completely honest with you, I think our relationship deserves that much, don’t you? Real talk. I love danish pastries. Come on, you know you do too. I can’t get enough of them. In fact, I love them so much that I can eat about twenty and it still wouldn’t be enough. I’d want more and more. All day, everyday. I’m not even kidding. Okay, maybe a little, but I only exaggerate out of my love for danish. Real talk. The problem with my infatuation for these treats is that I want to be able to make them at home and feel like I’m a fancy Danish baker that specializes in making homemade danishes. Real talk. The one thing that stops me from fulfilling said danish dreams is the fact that I’m really lazy when it comes to procedures in the kitchen that take way too much time and effort. I don’t like overly complicated recipes. Honest to goodness real danish pastry dough is so time consuming and involves all these not-so-complicated-steps-but-to-me-they’re-the-most-stressful-steps, steps. Not only is it labor intense but it also takes a lot of time to rest and do it’s magic. Who can wait that long?! Not me, my friends. Real talk. I don’t have that kind of time. Something tells me, you might be in the same boat and don’t have much time for tedious pastry work either. If that’s the case then you’ll want to stay tuned and continue reading because I’m bringing you not one, not even two, but three—yes friends THREE—fake out danish pastry recipes. You’re welcome.

How do you fake out danish, you might ask? Well I’m so glad you did ask, because boy do I have the perfect answer. Two words for you, puff pastry. Wait. Scratch that. I have four words for you, store bought puff pastry. That sounds a lot better, no? Yes, it does my friends. Yes it does. It might not be the most authentic version of danish—it’s actually missing that yeast factor shhh—but it’s still just as tasty, and when it’s all said and done folks, isn’t that all that really matters? Well that, and that I’ve just cut your danish making time in half. I expect a monument named after me for this. Real talk. I’m only partially kidding about that one.

Sure I could have just offered you one danish recipe and called it a day, but what kind of person would I be if I didn’t share all three recipes with you? I’d be a selfish human being that’s for sure. Especially since I had all three ideas in my head for the longest time. I couldn’t decide which one you’d prefer more. That’s a lie. The truth, real talk, is that I couldn’t decide which I really wanted to eat more. Okay there it’s out there now. So instead of limiting myself to devouring just one pastry, I decided to have all the pastries. ALL THE PASTRIES. I put on my wizard hat and started calling myself “The Danish Magician.” I wouldn’t respond to people calling me by any other name. My family kept saying, “Jon this…” and “Jonathan that…” but whatever they said went unacknowledged and unanswered until they referred to me as The Danish Magician. Or Danish The Great. Real talk. That really didn’t happen. I couldn’t get them to call me either of those things. So for now, I’m still just plain ol’ Jonathan. That’s not even majestical, but it’ll have to do. Plain ol’ lousy Jonathan with three killer danish recipes. Real talk, you’ll love them as much as I did.

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