Chocolate Butterscotch Hazelnut Cake

Okay, so I know it’s January and this whole New Year thing literally that just happened, and we’ve made resolutions and promises to ourselves to eat healthier and make better choices from now on. I’m all for it…just not at this very moment, clearly. While everyone else is eating salads and vegetables and saying no to desserts, I’m over here tempting you all with this behemoth of a cake. What’s wrong with me?! I obviously didn’t get the memo, but that’s okay because I didn’t really want that memo to begin with. All I can say is that I’m very sorry, I just couldn’t help it. Don’t blame me. It’s not my fault. This cake happens to be a special cake. A birthday cake, to be exact, and I’m posting it so that we can all celebrate together, because a cake like this deserves to be admired and shared. A cake like this is worthy of breaking a few New Year’s resolutions here and there. I won’t judge, and I’m definitely not complaining. 

Next week is Julian’s birthday (hooray)! So in honor of this awesome occasion, I’ve decided to bake him a cake made up of his favorite flavors; chocolate, butterscotch and hazelnuts. Just in case you were wondering, I’m posting the recipe a week early because I’m taking him on a special top secret (shhh) trip for a week to celebrate his day of birth. The day he came into this world. He doesn’t know where we’re going, exactly, which is very exciting and fun for me because I get to surprise him with our actual destination on the day we leave and yell out “SURPRISE!!” Really loudly. Like I said, fun. The bajillion questions he asks me on a daily basis though since he found out about this trip—Where are we going? I just want to know! Is it far? Just give me a clue! Where are we going? Is it Hawaii?—not so much. All I know is that I couldn’t sit back and let the day go by without making him something special, aka something drenched in chocolate. So here we are with a giant cake in our faces, staring us right in the eyes, on a month when we vowed to eat nothing but vegetables. Damn you cake, damn you. 

Since we’ll be away next week on his actual birthday (January 13th), I thought it would be a great idea to make him his cake in advance, and post it early so that we can all still have something to enjoy in his honor. Lucky for Julian that means he gets two celebrations, not to mention this delicious cake. So give me a hand and help me wish this guy a Happy Birthday. It’s because of him that this chocolate, butterscotch, Nutella, hazelnut and dark chocolate ganache cake exists in our lives. We owe him a lot. 

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Chocolate Espresso Hazelnut Tart

I wish I could say that I had the privilege to eat this tart all throughout my youth. I’d tell you about all the countless celebrations and gatherings we had, when I was a child, where I would eat a slice or two or three of this incredible dessert. It would be the centerpiece of all our parties and everyone would talk about it for days on end. We’d be the toast of the town and the kids in the neighborhood would be jealous of me because I got to enjoy this tart all the time. Like everyday, all the time. I wish I could say that this here tart was the very essence of my childhood existence. This chocolate espresso hazelnut tart in particular is what made me a chocolate lover from way back when. The sad thing is that I can’t say any of those things. I can’t share those stories with you. I can’t even say I knew what a chocolate espresso hazelnut tart was. I was oblivious as a kid. If it wasn’t in the form of chocolate chip cookies, I didn’t want to have anything to do with it. I didn’t really eat this tart growing up, what can I say? I was deprived as a child of life’s wonderful chocolatey pleasures. But not really because I still had other delicious desserts. See? I just saved myself from my mother’s wrath. I’m sure she’ll read this and say “You WERE NOT deprived as a child!” Okay so I wasn’t deprived. I’m sure I still enjoyed countless of chocolate desserts as a kid. I don’t recall this, but let’s just say I did for argument’s sake and my mother’s sake. The point is I didn’t have this chocolate dessert and that makes me sad. You should feel sad for me right now. Feel sad for yourself, while you’re at it, because maybe you didn’t have this chocolate espresso hazelnut tart either. What kind of lives were we living? Okay now that the feeling sad moment has passed, let’s not be sad anymore because the most important thing is that I finally did experience this delicious treat when I grew older and now you can too.

I won’t fill you in on all the boring details as to how I finally came across one of the most delicious chocolate desserts I’ve ever made and ate. That’s not important. I won’t tell you about how my eyes were opened and now there’s no point in eating any other chocolate tart after this one. You’ll see that for yourself. I will tell you that now you can make this tart all the time and have it be the centerpiece of all your celebrations and gatherings and parties. You can tell me about all the occasions you had where you ate a piece or two or three of this delicious dessert. Tell me about how so many people talk about this chocolate treat for days on end. People can now be jealous of you. It can be the very essence of your adulthood existence. This here chocolate espresso hazelnut tart, in particular, can be what has made you a chocolate lover, if you weren’t already one. Now, doesn’t that sound wonderful? All that power one little (okay big) chocolate tart has. If that doesn’t convince you to make it, I don’t know what will my friends. I don’t know what will.

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