All I’ve wanted to do lately is talk about bread. And french toast. And butter. Really I just sit around all day long thinking about soft pillows of bread, spread with butter, and then made into french toast. My mind usually drifts off to all sorts of crazy delicious scenarios that involve me eating nothing but bread. Large mountains of bread. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, right? Of course that’s totally not really weird for me because I’m always thinking and talking about bread and butter and french toast on a daily basis. Just a normal day in the life of Jonathan Melendez. A few weeks ago I made homemade challah, which actually was the last post and my current addiction. If you think that I can’t eat two entire loaves of challah bread in the span of 24 hours, then you are very much mistaken. You underestimate my love for bread in general. It’s a love affair. I’m only half embarrassed to admit that I can eat two challah loaves in one sitting, but at the same time I’m kind of, sort of, maybe just a little bit, proud of that important unimportant fact. I’m like “Golly oh boy Jon you’re a magician when it comes to eating bread. You should have your own reality show or something!” Then somehow I go off on a tangent, much like I always do, thinking about what the title of my show would be. It would have to be something bread related like “Cutting The Crust with Jonathan Melendez.” “Two Loaves, One Man.” “Oh If I Was A French Baguette…” Clearly I’m still working on the title and the plot of the show, although I know that whatever it is it would involve a lot of bread. I mean like a lot of bread (we’re talking an obscene amount really, so envision with me here). I can live with that. You won’t hear any complaints from me. Unless of course I somehow run out of this supposed “never-ending” bread. In which case, I’d probably just move away slowly from me before I bite you for taking my bread. I’m totally kidding….you wouldn’t take my bread.
I may or may not (let’s be real, we all know I did) have eaten the two loaves of bread from the last post before I could even make this french toast post. Of course I was SO upset that I had to redo this recipe. I mean more bread, really?! Ugh, gosh what a drag. My life is so difficult. Woe is me. I dragged my butt back into the kitchen and made more bread—like I was being forced or couldn’t think of something better to do when we all know it’s all I really wanted to do. How tragic does that sound? Don’t feel bad for me though, I had four loaves of bread. When I finally practiced enough will power to prevent myself from eating the fourth loaf, I turned that last challah into a delicious breakfast and brunch dish. I think you just found an excuse to make breakfast for dinner. I’ll let you take all the credit too as long as you invite me over.
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