I want to be completely honest with you, I think our relationship deserves that much, don’t you? Real talk. I love danish pastries. Come on, you know you do too. I can’t get enough of them. In fact, I love them so much that I can eat about twenty and it still wouldn’t be enough. I’d want more and more. All day, everyday. I’m not even kidding. Okay, maybe a little, but I only exaggerate out of my love for danish. Real talk. The problem with my infatuation for these treats is that I want to be able to make them at home and feel like I’m a fancy Danish baker that specializes in making homemade danishes. Real talk. The one thing that stops me from fulfilling said danish dreams is the fact that I’m really lazy when it comes to procedures in the kitchen that take way too much time and effort. I don’t like overly complicated recipes. Honest to goodness real danish pastry dough is so time consuming and involves all these not-so-complicated-steps-but-to-me-they’re-the-most-stressful-steps, steps. Not only is it labor intense but it also takes a lot of time to rest and do it’s magic. Who can wait that long?! Not me, my friends. Real talk. I don’t have that kind of time. Something tells me, you might be in the same boat and don’t have much time for tedious pastry work either. If that’s the case then you’ll want to stay tuned and continue reading because I’m bringing you not one, not even two, but three—yes friends THREE—fake out danish pastry recipes. You’re welcome.
How do you fake out danish, you might ask? Well I’m so glad you did ask, because boy do I have the perfect answer. Two words for you, puff pastry. Wait. Scratch that. I have four words for you, store bought puff pastry. That sounds a lot better, no? Yes, it does my friends. Yes it does. It might not be the most authentic version of danish—it’s actually missing that yeast factor shhh—but it’s still just as tasty, and when it’s all said and done folks, isn’t that all that really matters? Well that, and that I’ve just cut your danish making time in half. I expect a monument named after me for this. Real talk. I’m only partially kidding about that one.
Sure I could have just offered you one danish recipe and called it a day, but what kind of person would I be if I didn’t share all three recipes with you? I’d be a selfish human being that’s for sure. Especially since I had all three ideas in my head for the longest time. I couldn’t decide which one you’d prefer more. That’s a lie. The truth, real talk, is that I couldn’t decide which I really wanted to eat more. Okay there it’s out there now. So instead of limiting myself to devouring just one pastry, I decided to have all the pastries. ALL THE PASTRIES. I put on my wizard hat and started calling myself “The Danish Magician.” I wouldn’t respond to people calling me by any other name. My family kept saying, “Jon this…” and “Jonathan that…” but whatever they said went unacknowledged and unanswered until they referred to me as The Danish Magician. Or Danish The Great. Real talk. That really didn’t happen. I couldn’t get them to call me either of those things. So for now, I’m still just plain ol’ Jonathan. That’s not even majestical, but it’ll have to do. Plain ol’ lousy Jonathan with three killer danish recipes. Real talk, you’ll love them as much as I did.